savasana is much needed
Updated: Jun 22, 2018
Caution. if you think I'll bore you with my immigration woes then yogi blog is not one for you...
(still here.. x)
in the end, we believe it will come good. "WE" the ominous 'WE" refers to rightfully my husband, mother-in-law, brother. I need yogic powers, more than ever before to calm my nerves.
REWIND.... to my existence on the Island - Isle of Wight. It's been five and a-half years and yes I am married to a British(legitimately! and out of true love, we got married in Singapore and have a lovely child, Oliver). And yes, I have to go through the tedious process of applying for my visa to stay on as a wife, mother and a tax payer. how absurd! I truly respect the system, I have myself to blame for this 'mess' and being out of work during this time in my life because home office decides they are going to take their time and sit on my application before I am given the permission to work again and move on with my life. the worse is over(phew!) and I must say I am enjoying the sunshine and paying more attention to my son's wellbeing - that is however driving me a little crazy! (never been very momsy hence)
cut the long story short, this numpty(me) here overstayed and only realised my visa expired when I was determined to go on my long awaited luxury holiday in Crete only to find out I can't extend my visa despite having to pass my Life in Uk test because... I have overstayed. In order to extend my visa, I had to take another English test AND I had to engaged the services of immigration solicitors to help me ensure my application is a robust submission. We are hearing and seeing £££££. Oh well, c'est la vie! (holiday cancelled!)
there are days when I feel like the world has collapsed on me and I just want to run away from it all, duvet over my head... I don't wish to speak to anyone...don't wish to get out of bed or my pjs... when was the last time I felt like that?! when I was doing my exams I reckon - yonks ago!
how did I overcome my nerves or should I say how am I overcoming my anxieties? I've taken up surfing, held goodwill classes at Cherry's and Steve's and at mine,
attended Tracy's yoga class with my class I teach, attended Jenny's yoga practice, looking forward to Emma's workshop baked pineapple tarts, learnt to pump my bicycle wheels, attended creative writing class, I have cycled miles, ran (as usual), I've been helping my husband with his business start up... so far, I am still feeling sane. I scream and shout at times when Oliver does not listen to me when I tell him to do something for the umpteenth time! Oh did I mention, if you have not already observed that I have also started out my yoga website - long long overdue and much needed for therapy. If you are still reading, I thank you for your time and listening to me take self pity - pathetic really. The need to feel like I have done something everyday is so important to me, I have to learn to let go.
if like me, you have moved to a foreign place and am going through the thought of "is this move worth it?" You are the only one who can answer that. Be honest to yourself. For me? I love it and would do it again. It feels like a lost cause at times, fighting with bureaucracy, being treated like a second class citizen when I am a citizen of a truly magnificent and rich(in every way) country and have left my well paid glamorous job, friends whom I can trust and love me for who I am back in sunny S'pore! Is this worth the fight? life is here now. it's no bed of roses, it felt like (and still feels like) starting all over again, like learning my ABCs of a different culture. it is draining, tiring but also fulfils my adventurous spirit and inquisitive nature. I must say I love it more than I loathe it. I hope like me, you will find the positives instead of the negatives to get you through dark days... sending to you strength to you like you had me by just reading my thoughts.